So today, May 18th is also an anniversary for me and my family. It was the day that our family found out that we were now a part of the 65 Roses Club, and we walked away full of hope, and seeing God's hand on the next part of our journey.
That morning, we woke up very early, and with a new "drive" to get to our church's weekly prayer meeting, which just happens to be 7am, Tuesday mornings. I slipped off to a private area in the church to nurse Ella, and out of nowhere, a childhood Sunday school song came to mind, and I started to sing it to Ella.
12 men went to spy on Canaan,
10 were bad and 2 were good,
What did they see when they spied on Canaan?
10 were bad and 2 were good,
Some saw giants big and tall,
Some saw grapes in clusters fall,
Some saw God was in it all,
10 were bad and 2 were good.
I now have a new respect for those seemingly silly Sunday school songs I learned as a kid. It is so simple, but oh how that challenged me and gave me a sense of God's hand in my life at that very moment. I was facing my own "Canaan", and I had a choice that day about how I would see what God would be leading me into. I could choose to walk into that day's medical testing afraid, and weak, or I could be looking for the good things God was going to do on our behalf. I had to keep deciding, moment by moment to see it.
Our church, City Centre Church in Saskatoon, rallied around our family that morning and prayed for that day. We were still fairly new in the church, and were just beginning to feel really connected at this time. I have never before felt such love and support from the body of Christ.
We headed off to the hospital. Our soon-to-be-sister-in-law, a respiratory therapist, met us in the paediatric clinic. She just happened to be working that day, and having her there with us, was such a comfort. It was another respiratory therapist that she knew that performed the "gold standard" test to determine if Ella had CF or not. We also had Kirk and Angelle with us, my husband's dad and stepmom. There were amazing! They are hilarious, inquisitive, smart, caring and sensitive people. They also have many opinions completely opposite to my husband and I, including their personal religious beliefs. Just the same, we constaly talk and learn from each other. We also met the clinical coordinator for the CF Paediatric clinic in Saskatoon, Lorna. We quickly learned that she grew up as a close friend of my Dad's family. By the end of the day, we were thanking God for each individual that was in the room that day. They all were there to support and comfort us that day. They also would be used to confirm the vision of hope we would walk away with.
The test that Ella had was so simple and easy. She was given a cream to stimulate her sweat glands on her arm, and two little patches were put on her arm to harvest her sweat. She was then bundled up with extra blankets for 30 minutes. Pretty simple. We were told that we would have the results after lunch.
So with and hour or two to kill, we went for sushi of course! At the restaurant, we bumped into acolleague of Chris's, who knew what was happening that day, and offered us more support and encouragement. As we went to the parking lot, we ran into another person from my home town I hadn't seen in 10 years, and once again, I felt encouraged. Next, it was back to the hospital for the results.
All of the sample were in the clinic again, but this time the CF clinic director, paediatrician Dr. B joined us, and gave us the results. The test had come back positive for Cystic Fibrosis. I won't say I didn't tear up a little, but it was like once again a switch was turned, and I said, "OK, now what?" Dr. B was absolutely amazing at that moment. She told us of the changes that have been happening within CF research and treatments, and how she believed that Ella would live a long and healthy life. She talked about how the newborn screening process had only been in effect for 1.5 years, and how that would have such a positive effect on Ella's life. Up until then, unless there was a problem with the bowels at birth, ot would likely take quite a long time, or a child becoming very ill and likely having permanent lung damage already, before they would suspect CF was a factor. She also spoke about how this screening was something that only 3 provinces were doing at that time. Chris and I looked at each other and were thinking the same thing. A year before, we had been trying so hard to move to Vancouver Island, where the CF screening had not yet begun. We were so thankful that the prayers we had been praying about moving to BC, a year before, had not been answered the way we had been hoping. The doctor then informed us that we would indeed have to save for her college education because Ella would live to see those years and many more.
We were now part of the 65 Roses Club. Once upon a time, a little kid with CF, thought that all the adults around him were saying 65 Roses, instead of Cystic Fibrosis. That has actually stuck with the community all this time. Since it's usually hard for a little kid to say, they're taught to say 65 Roses. It sounds the same and heck, it's a whole lot prettier!
Here are a few other things I learned about CF that day:
-Approximately 1 in 3,600 babies are a CF patient.
-1 in 25 people are a carrier (like Chris and I)
-The median age of a person with CF in Canada is 46 years old.
-It is the most common genetic defect.It affects every cell in the body. The defect is in the chloride channel of each cell. It causes salt to not move in and out of the cell, which then causes problems with water moving in and out as well. The result is secrections and fluids in the body tend to be thicker, stickier, and saltier, and this complicates things most commonly in the lungs and digestive tract.
-This is the tough one...people with CF need to not be in close contact with each other, minimum 3 feet distance apart, unless they are a direct sibling or a family member. Unlike many conditions where kids can get together and support one another closely when they are facing the same challenges, kids with CF have to remain at a distance due to the super bugs and infections they can pass to one another.
We then spoke with the CF dietician for a while. Again, she gave us such good news. She said that Ella would live to be an old lady. She told us that we would definitely be seeing bigger bills for groceries, because kids with CF can eat and eat and eat. In fact, they need to because their bodies often struggle to put on weight. And Ella can eat!!!
We then met her physiotherapist. It turned out that she was the mom of someone I went to school with as a kid. Again, just that little touch of familiarity brought even more comfort.
Then we met her social worker. She talked about how she was there to help us out as a family in more of a counselling capacity. She also talked about all the programs and groups available to us, and explained how each of the professionals we were meeting today would be at each of her monthly appointments. They have adopted a real team approach, and instead of me having to set up 4 or 5 appointments each month, I would come to 1 appointment, be in one room, and they would take turns coming to visit Ella. Amazing!
So after leaving the appointment, we had no sooner walked out of the clinic area, into the lobby by the cafeteria, and I ran into someone I knew. She was a former instructor from my dental hygiene school. Naturally, the discussion of "what brings you here?" came about. When it was my turn to explain, I was absoloutely shocked by what came out of my mouth! I had come out of Ella's appointment with such a vision of hope and peace, that my explanation was so upbeat and positive. My instructor looked at me, quite surprised by my positivity, given the nature of what I was sharing. Honestly, I didn't feel like I was trying to be positive, I just was.
So once we went home and started talking with family about what had happened at the appointments I started asking my husband's dad and stepmom how they felt about the whole appointment. They said the same thing; they were surprised by how positive and full of hope they were walking out of the appointment. That meant a lot to me. Sometimes I fear that as a Christian I put on rose coloured glasses or have my head in the sand about what is going on when I can't explain it or not everything seems logical. I really feel that in those moments, I need to check myself and check with others to make sure I'm really seeing things for what they are. When I heard his parents say this, it reassured me. They don't share our faith, in fact, one of them doesn't even believe in God. Hearing them say that they experienced the same thing - with quite different eyes looking at the same situation - really brought peace.
It makes me think about the New Testament. So many people witnessed Jesus' ministry. But to testify to it, 4 different witness' stories were written. Yes, they were Christ's followers, but so many others witnessed his works. Somehow, even the unbelievers testified, in my opinion, to what happened.
Since that day, there have been so many ways that God has moved on our family's behalf, and I plan to share more and more of them. I feel that's my responsibility with all of this. I won't pretend that I don't struggle with the situations I'm in, the emotions that I have, or the thoughts I choose whether or not to entertain mentally, but there is something so powerful about testimony. Almost daily, I spend 30 minutes watching Joyce Meyer on TV. She's my daily kick-in-the-pants. I need it. I am empowered daily by hearing her personal testimony, and in it, how Jesus has transformed her. It also takes away every excuse I have to feel sorry for myself and throw a pity party. But there are other testimonies that I hear daily, through blogs, or facebook, or just chitchatting on the phone, that leave me feeling empowered to face my daily challenges too. Sometimes, those are so much more relevant, and timely. It's easy to put people like Joyce Meyer up on a pedestal, and say ,"yeah, well she's a super star Christian." That's my own doing, not her, because she is very self aware and humble. But I know how much it means to see and hear the personal victories in other people's lives! It is inspiring. It gives me strength. So that's why I share. I need to tell the good things that God has done in my life!
Revelation 12:11
They triumphed over him
by the blood of the Lamb
and by the word of their testimony;
they did not love their lives so much
as to shrink from death.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Part 1 - The Darkest Day
So today is an anniversary day for me. Today is the 1 year anniversary of the darkest, and most terrifying day of my life. May 17th, 2010, I learned that there was a strong likelihood my daughter had Cystic Fibrosis.
My daughter, Emmanuella – we call her Ella for short, was born three weeks earlier, and was a happy healthy baby. She seemed to struggle a bit with gaining weight at first, but other than that, she seemed to be thriving in every other way. So that Monday morning, when I received a phone call from my family doctor, informing me that the newborn screening, that the province provides on all newborns, had shown something they needed to do further testing about, I was shocked. When I heard her mention the words Cystic Fibrosis, it just about knocked the breath out of me.
Two things came to mind. I remembered a Law & Order episode where the police were breaking into a home and saw a woman “beating” on her kid. They thought she was abusing her child, but she was doing physiotherapy on her child’s chest, because he had Cystic Fibrosis. The second thought was about some really sad commercials on TV that had starred Celine Dion and her niece, who had Cystic Fibrosis.
I quickly called my husband, asked him to come home from work. I needed him to be with us. He quickly informed his co-workers of the situation and on his way out, one who had a child with special needs said to him, “Just remember, God has the last word!” It’s become such a powerful phrase to our family.
That day was really, really dark. My husband and I hung on to God, our daughter, our faith, our family, our church family in a way that I never knew existed. We knew we would get our answers through medical testing the next day, but waiting for one day was excruciating. That said, we weren’t in a hurry to hear confirmation of our greatest fears. The way our family was supported over the next two days was incredible. We quickly called our church family, and we had people coming and praying with us. We had family that was by our side and gave us the freedom to just react to this news the way we needed to. And that day, there came a real change in my relationship with God.
Up until this point, I had lived bracing myself for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. I had regularly felt robbed in many areas of my life. My childhood was far from being safe, healthy, or loving, on a regular basis. So many close relationships, including my first marriage, had completely crumbled. When I was in a moment of happiness, it often was accompanied by the thought, “when’s this coming to a crashing end?”
So while holding my daughter, I talked to God. I prayed with everything in me, that she would not have Cystic Fibrosis. That she would be healthy and whole, and live a blessed life. It was like a switch turned inside my mind and heart. We all have been given a gift from God. Life. It is so precious, and so fragile. We daily have a choice. We can see it as a gift, and live fearlessly, or we can see it as a right, and live in fear of losing it. I needed to choose. Regardless of how we choose, life is a fatal condition. I have a firm belief in God, in my heavenly home, and that with death, I get the chance to really live and experience heaven. I am truly excited about heaven, and I am not afraid of it. It’s been this living each day on earth part that has sometimes freaked me out. I had a choice. Would I allow fear to overwhelm me, and then become a fearful mother to my child? Then how could I speak truthfully to my daughter about being fearless in her life? and be any kind of an example of the woman of God that she would need to be in her day to day challenges? Would I accept this challenge and mission that God was entrusting me with, this precious bundle of joy, beauty and strength named Emmanuella – meaning God is with us – and in doing so, accept the new and beautiful thing God was going to do in my life? Mission accepted! And that was when I saw God’s light in my darkest day!
Isaiah 42:16 (NIV)
16 I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.
John 1:5 (NIV)
5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome[a] it.
And the next day, I saw his fresh mercies, new every morning. I’ll share that tomorrow...
My daughter, Emmanuella – we call her Ella for short, was born three weeks earlier, and was a happy healthy baby. She seemed to struggle a bit with gaining weight at first, but other than that, she seemed to be thriving in every other way. So that Monday morning, when I received a phone call from my family doctor, informing me that the newborn screening, that the province provides on all newborns, had shown something they needed to do further testing about, I was shocked. When I heard her mention the words Cystic Fibrosis, it just about knocked the breath out of me.
Two things came to mind. I remembered a Law & Order episode where the police were breaking into a home and saw a woman “beating” on her kid. They thought she was abusing her child, but she was doing physiotherapy on her child’s chest, because he had Cystic Fibrosis. The second thought was about some really sad commercials on TV that had starred Celine Dion and her niece, who had Cystic Fibrosis.
I quickly called my husband, asked him to come home from work. I needed him to be with us. He quickly informed his co-workers of the situation and on his way out, one who had a child with special needs said to him, “Just remember, God has the last word!” It’s become such a powerful phrase to our family.
That day was really, really dark. My husband and I hung on to God, our daughter, our faith, our family, our church family in a way that I never knew existed. We knew we would get our answers through medical testing the next day, but waiting for one day was excruciating. That said, we weren’t in a hurry to hear confirmation of our greatest fears. The way our family was supported over the next two days was incredible. We quickly called our church family, and we had people coming and praying with us. We had family that was by our side and gave us the freedom to just react to this news the way we needed to. And that day, there came a real change in my relationship with God.
Up until this point, I had lived bracing myself for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. I had regularly felt robbed in many areas of my life. My childhood was far from being safe, healthy, or loving, on a regular basis. So many close relationships, including my first marriage, had completely crumbled. When I was in a moment of happiness, it often was accompanied by the thought, “when’s this coming to a crashing end?”
So while holding my daughter, I talked to God. I prayed with everything in me, that she would not have Cystic Fibrosis. That she would be healthy and whole, and live a blessed life. It was like a switch turned inside my mind and heart. We all have been given a gift from God. Life. It is so precious, and so fragile. We daily have a choice. We can see it as a gift, and live fearlessly, or we can see it as a right, and live in fear of losing it. I needed to choose. Regardless of how we choose, life is a fatal condition. I have a firm belief in God, in my heavenly home, and that with death, I get the chance to really live and experience heaven. I am truly excited about heaven, and I am not afraid of it. It’s been this living each day on earth part that has sometimes freaked me out. I had a choice. Would I allow fear to overwhelm me, and then become a fearful mother to my child? Then how could I speak truthfully to my daughter about being fearless in her life? and be any kind of an example of the woman of God that she would need to be in her day to day challenges? Would I accept this challenge and mission that God was entrusting me with, this precious bundle of joy, beauty and strength named Emmanuella – meaning God is with us – and in doing so, accept the new and beautiful thing God was going to do in my life? Mission accepted! And that was when I saw God’s light in my darkest day!
Isaiah 42:16 (NIV)
16 I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.
John 1:5 (NIV)
5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome[a] it.
And the next day, I saw his fresh mercies, new every morning. I’ll share that tomorrow...
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
The Provincial Lab
OK... so yesterday I went to the provincial lab for a tour with the rest of my Microbiology class.
I came back determined to preach to everyone I know that they have to stop biting their nails. If people only new the things their hands touch in a day, and how they can hide around their finger nails and live for such a long time, they would stop. So people.... save your own life by washing your hands regularly, and stop biting your nails!!!
We also learned that Saskatchewan is the chlamydia capital of Canada....lovely. The incidence of it being tested for, spikes every 10 days after a major event in Regina. Agribition is in town next week!!! Yeps, its not just Buffalo Days, or Roughrider games that will encourage the spread of STI's(no longer STD's because perhaps "infection" carries less stigma than "disease"). One of the people at the lab spoke of someone attending this upcoming agribitition, calling a health clinic that offered sexual health services, asking how clean the local prostitutes were. Talk about thinking ahead. I'm praying he's not married, and that for some reason he has to stay home from this event.
Leads to another opportunity presenting itself in my Microbiology class.... I am part of a group that gets to set up an information booth about HPV. There has been so much publicity about the new vaccine that is going to be offered to 9-12 year old girls, in our province, to prevent this disease....errrr..... I mean infection. This vaccine will provide immunity to 4 strains of this virus, there is 100 different strains. Now get this stat...8 out of 10 Canadians will have a HPV infection at some time in their lives, and never know. In most cases, the body eventually fights it off and you never experience the symptoms. Now there are several strains that lead to genital warts, warts on hands and/or feet, and several that can lead to cells changing and eventually becoming cancerous. Depending on which you have, you could have no problems whatsoever, "special" parts of your body that look like a cauliflower, or have the experience dealing with surgery, infertility, radiation and chemotherapy. And guess what.......
A CONDOM WON'T PROTECT YOU FROM THIS ONE.
Without getting overly graphic, not just the parts separated by a condom are in contact and affected when you're getting it on.
So our province will be offering this vaccine to girls(even though boys can get this too), with the hopes of them receiving this before their first sexual experience. That's thought to be around grade 5 or 6. Sad. Did I mention that they have no studies showing the long term affects of this vaccine?
I'm honestly not pro or anti HPV vaccine. The vaccine is just the little "pill(needle)" to help prevent cancer and the spread of infection. I just think that there's a basic truth that's missing through out all of our society.
There is a God, he made us, he has a good plan for our lives, and there are real consequences for not having a relationship with God and seeking to know this plan. It actually does make sense, but most people struggle with accepting there is a right and a wrong. Who really ever wants to hear that they're wrong, or need to make a tough decision or change in their lives?
So off I went on a little rant....so about HPV...
The only sure way of absolutely never ever getting HPV....... never have sex.
The one way of ensuring that you are extremely unlikely to get it..... only sleep with the person you're married to. Beyond that, make sure that you are marrying the person that is the gift God has set aside for you.
They're worth the wait, and so are you.
This being said, I'm one of those people that has learned most of her lessons the hard way. God has been so loving, faithful, merciful and gracious, to give me another opportunity to learn and to do things the right way. The right way makes way more sense and...... well it's just way better and I'll leave it at that......hehehe.......
And so I'll leave you with 2 quotes from the book of Romans....
Romans 8:6 - The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.
Romans 12:1 - Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Chris was right........I needed a blog. ;)
I came back determined to preach to everyone I know that they have to stop biting their nails. If people only new the things their hands touch in a day, and how they can hide around their finger nails and live for such a long time, they would stop. So people.... save your own life by washing your hands regularly, and stop biting your nails!!!
We also learned that Saskatchewan is the chlamydia capital of Canada....lovely. The incidence of it being tested for, spikes every 10 days after a major event in Regina. Agribition is in town next week!!! Yeps, its not just Buffalo Days, or Roughrider games that will encourage the spread of STI's(no longer STD's because perhaps "infection" carries less stigma than "disease"). One of the people at the lab spoke of someone attending this upcoming agribitition, calling a health clinic that offered sexual health services, asking how clean the local prostitutes were. Talk about thinking ahead. I'm praying he's not married, and that for some reason he has to stay home from this event.
Leads to another opportunity presenting itself in my Microbiology class.... I am part of a group that gets to set up an information booth about HPV. There has been so much publicity about the new vaccine that is going to be offered to 9-12 year old girls, in our province, to prevent this disease....errrr..... I mean infection. This vaccine will provide immunity to 4 strains of this virus, there is 100 different strains. Now get this stat...8 out of 10 Canadians will have a HPV infection at some time in their lives, and never know. In most cases, the body eventually fights it off and you never experience the symptoms. Now there are several strains that lead to genital warts, warts on hands and/or feet, and several that can lead to cells changing and eventually becoming cancerous. Depending on which you have, you could have no problems whatsoever, "special" parts of your body that look like a cauliflower, or have the experience dealing with surgery, infertility, radiation and chemotherapy. And guess what.......
A CONDOM WON'T PROTECT YOU FROM THIS ONE.
Without getting overly graphic, not just the parts separated by a condom are in contact and affected when you're getting it on.
So our province will be offering this vaccine to girls(even though boys can get this too), with the hopes of them receiving this before their first sexual experience. That's thought to be around grade 5 or 6. Sad. Did I mention that they have no studies showing the long term affects of this vaccine?
I'm honestly not pro or anti HPV vaccine. The vaccine is just the little "pill(needle)" to help prevent cancer and the spread of infection. I just think that there's a basic truth that's missing through out all of our society.
There is a God, he made us, he has a good plan for our lives, and there are real consequences for not having a relationship with God and seeking to know this plan. It actually does make sense, but most people struggle with accepting there is a right and a wrong. Who really ever wants to hear that they're wrong, or need to make a tough decision or change in their lives?
So off I went on a little rant....so about HPV...
The only sure way of absolutely never ever getting HPV....... never have sex.
The one way of ensuring that you are extremely unlikely to get it..... only sleep with the person you're married to. Beyond that, make sure that you are marrying the person that is the gift God has set aside for you.
They're worth the wait, and so are you.
This being said, I'm one of those people that has learned most of her lessons the hard way. God has been so loving, faithful, merciful and gracious, to give me another opportunity to learn and to do things the right way. The right way makes way more sense and...... well it's just way better and I'll leave it at that......hehehe.......
And so I'll leave you with 2 quotes from the book of Romans....
Romans 8:6 - The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.
Romans 12:1 - Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Chris was right........I needed a blog. ;)
Monday, November 12, 2007
My First Post
Oki.... this is my first post. That's it that's all. Just keeping this simple at first. Oh yeah.... I love Jesus. Oki, that it....... for real.
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